The strangest ones are the ones who ask for the most unexpected things. What's weird to me is not necessarily weird to the vanilla bystander, but my strangest session by far ended up with me writing two comparative essays for the sub. Relax and surrender to my warm spirit as we explore all of the things you have always wanted to try, I do have a quieter side but I also have a very SADISTIC side I like to indulge in with the right person, is that you? Her line of work may be racy — but nothing sexual takes place between her and her clients, Barbosa said.

I enjoy using my body to dominate and at 6’5” I’m quite imposing. That being said I do love my props such as floggers, collars and cuffs. Over the years, my slaves would complain that they couldn’t figure out how to introduce their girlfriends or wives to female dominance. I co-wrote a book titled How to be a Dominant Diva which focuses on giving couples the inspiration and tools to explore eroticism, role-play and power exchange in a way that is exciting but never intimidating! I would have to say that I don’t have much patience for newbies who do not understand the protocol of how to communicate respectfully and professionally with a dominatrix. She added, “Some men want to be roughed up and manhandled, others cuddled and smothered. Some just want to give me their money.” What’s with the letters? It’s simple. Clients can’t always talk comfortably about their sessions. They clam up when I ask what sort of whip or dildo they want me to use. So, I started encouraging them to write a description of their ideal visit to me beforehand.Always approach a mistress respectfully yet honestly and you’ll be fine. Trust she knows what’s best. They range from the “newbie” who has an interest that's been sparked in him and is curious and seeking a safe person and place to explore all the way to those who've been playing in the arts of BDSM for 20 or 30 years and only want to play with someone who has the experience and knowhow to take them to that special place only an experienced dominatrix can. It is, unfortunately, more unusual to see women than men. This is changing, and women are becoming more empowered to call upon sex workers to explore their fantasies. I had an interesting experience wherein a straight woman booked a session with me because she wanted to be dominated but felt safer with a woman than a male dominant, either hired or found online. I think that’s smart and savvy, and we had an amazing scene. Seeing a dominatrix isn’t necessarily about sex or sexual identity, it’s about submission, or masochism, or catharsis, and I love being able to take women to those places as well as men.

I’m not against water sports. Urine’s sterile. It’s just that if you’re wearing a tight corset it’s hard to hold on if you have a full bladder. The session just becomes about not peeing too early. It literally interrupts the flow. The dungeon is not a place to be angry. Some women tell me that they’d love to punish men for a living. But if you have a client who’s 83 with Parkinson’s you don’t just beat the shit out of him! A professional dominatrix is skilled at applying the right kind of pain that can make her masochistic, submissive client cry out in pleasure. There’s a common misconception that BDSM is always about pain, but it’s really about the sensations. You might be surprised to learn that a profession technically classified as “sex work” does not involve any actual sex. Sure, you can go online and find someone who will gladly take your money, slap you around a bit and then have sex with you—but that’s not a service provided by a dominatrix. A truly professional and experienced dominatrix is more like a guide through the less accessible sexual pleasure that some men—and women—find in the acts of submission or masochism, both in and out of a dungeon. This is why most sessions with a pro-domme (professional dominatrix) are carefully thought out and planned beforehand by the mistress to make sure they are uniquely tailored to, and enjoyed by, each particular sub. Thanks for your message. It does indeed seem that your errant ways merit correction. But, we can get to that. I am blessed with strong, sensual legs that have the power to wrap you up and hold you into total submission until I am ready to release you. I also possess a naughty smile and mystic eyes that can keep your deepest secrets and desires to myself.

Writing a letter is a condition of entry to Mistress Xena’s dungeon. Be honest with her and she’ll reward you... or, indeed, punish you. When I got in touch I wasn’t quite ready to have a toilet brush shoved up my bum, but I was curious about this once-secret part of the city’s sexlife. I’ve always identified as a dominant woman, long before I was sexually aware, it was just who I was. I believe this was partially due to being raised in a very matriarchal family. When I played house with my classmates I would always make the boy play as the dog instead of the father. When I first started and was still learning the ropes, I ended up breaking two ribs on a client after sitting on him,” she said, adding that he had a health problem. I started pro-domming while I was still a grad student here in LA. Much of my work in the field of art had to do with power dynamics, objectification, voyeurism and exhibitionism, so although I was always been interested in BDSM as a type of eroticized power exchange, I had a hard time giving myself permission to explore it in my personal life.