Note to self. Do not attempt to read a ‘self help’ book. I knew better. I’ll give it a 2 to be kind but it just doesn’t have depth. It’s incredibly important to talk about the stuff that often leaves us riddled with anxiety, shame and confusion so that we tidy up our emotional baggage and free ourselves up to love and be loved. Much of what we do, especially when unconscious, painful, and repetitive, is about pleasing whomever we depended on in childhood, trying to right the wrongs of the past to meet unmet needs, and protecting ourselves from the rejection and abandonment we feared or experienced as a child. Patterns occur when we’re living unconsciously, and people pleasing is us being on autopilot mode. We’ve been operating from programming instead of preferences.

The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing

PDF / EPUB File Name: The_Joy_of_Saying_No_-_Natalie_Lue.pdf, The_Joy_of_Saying_No_-_Natalie_Lue.epub Your boundaries communicate what you know about who you are and want to be, your responsibilities, and your awareness of who others are and their responsibilities.Natalie Lue schrijft helder, open en toegankelijk. Hierdoor is het een boek geworden wat fijn en prettig leest. The ability to say no is a tremendous advantage for an investor.” Warren Buffett 25. “It’s okay to say no.” Anonymous I am all about setting boundaries and learning to say no without feeling guilty. I was thankful to NetGalley for providing an advanced copy of this book for the purpose of the review. I enjoyed each chapter that Lue provided in her book. Instances of compliance and self-neglect flashed through my mind. I’d decided not to “burden” my family with “too much” information about my illness because I knew they couldn’t handle it (and admittedly, their attitudes—including being more concerned about how much weight I’d put on with the steroids—stressed me out). My boss and colleagues were in the dark about the extent of my illness because I’d decided to act as if I weren’t ill and to compensate for any “inconveniences,” such as appointments and putting steroids in my eye every hour, with high performance. I’d start the day screaming in agony, and by the time I got off the Tube and entered the office, I had a veneer of calm. Serenity comes from the ability to say yes to existence. Courage comes from the ability to say no to the wrong choices made by others.” Ayn Rand

the joy of no? Burned out and overwhelmed: should you embrace the joy of no?

We learn early on that it’s critical to please your parents and caregivers in whatever form that takes because, well, they “know best” and we depend on them for survival and love. Work hard at school. Be the best. If you’re not the best, be good. Live our dreams, make us proud, don’t embarrass us with the neighbors. Be seen and not heard, keep your feelings to yourself. Stop being so sensitive. Work hard and you will get the grades. Be good and you’ll receive praise, peace, friendship, and relationships, and avoid undesirable outcomes. Do the things we expect of you. Let that relative hug you even though you’re clearly uncomfortable because you will offend them if you don’t. Be “nice” so you’re not seen as aggressive. Be “good” so people don’t think you’re slutty and ruin our reputation. Do you see those things we don’t like about those other people? Don’t do that. When you get the grades, you’ll get into university or get a job. From there, you’ll get the money, the home, the relationship, and the kids. Basically, be good and you will be a success. Het verhaal kent een heldere opbouw die is opgedeeld in drie delen. In het eerste deel, stelt Natalie Lue de vraag of je een people pleaser bent en wat dat precies inhoudt. Het mooie aan dit deel is dat ze ook haar eigen persoonlijke verhaal deelt als enorme people pleaser waarbij ze zichzelf constant wegcijferde en te veel van zichzelf vroeg.I worry about not being liked, getting into trouble, hurting feelings, looking like a “bad” or “selfish” person, or being rejected, abandoned, or alienated if I say no, express needs, have limits, or am honest.

The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue eBook | Perlego [PDF] The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue eBook | Perlego

the steroid treatment hasn’t worked . . . As you know, we don’t know what causes it, and there is no cure, so you will need to take steroids for life . . . Crucial that you start straight away . . . avoid pulmonary heart failure by the age of forty . . . no other options . . . preserving mobility . . .” It seems it is more complicated to experience “#Jono” than Harding suggests in her book, which is full of sentences such as: “Ditch the guilt.” Reader, at this my laughter was bitter and hollow.

Lil Wayne Net Worth 2020

YOU DIDN’T FALL out of the sky and just decide to become a people pleaser. Even if you’ve had an awareness of it only in adulthood, your people pleasing is something that’s been with you since childhood. A combination of socialization, conditioning, and self-taught responses and lessons have trained you to use putting others ahead of you as a strategy for meeting your needs and avoiding risk and hurt. Are you still playing a role you learned in childhood to please others, such as the Good Girl/Boy, the Overachiever, or the Helper? Though these kinds of roles may have gained us attention and affection, they prohibited us from becoming our true selves. New year, new no. Say no to blaming yourself for who people are. When you show up authentically and choose to be more you, people being themselves allows you to filter out the wrong relationships and say yes to the right ones.

The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue Order your copy of The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue

Get to know yourself on a deeper level and learn my simple yet powerful emotional decluttering methods This means that we are trained to be afraid of certain things for the correct reasons (putting our hand on a hot stove will burn us). However, it also means that based on how we’ve responded each time we’ve had to, for example, ahem, say no or have boundaries, we might also be disproportionately afraid of failure or pain even though saying no and boundaries aren’t “wrong.” Full Book Name: The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want I have learned to say ‘no, I want….’ And ‘no I would like to…..’ Instead of ‘yes, whatever you want is fine’ I’ve learned to reflect on episodes of my past where others have controlled me in a subtle way.

As a recovering people pleaser, I’m done with jumping through hoops trying to prove myself to unpleasable people. Done! Hard pass! Not doing it! The Joy of Saying No is about how to reclaim yourself from the cycle of people pleasing and supercharge your relationships and experiences by discovering the healing and transformative power of no. When I ask twenty- to eightysomethings why they don’t, for instance, say no at work or to family, or why they go along with things even when they feel wrong, time and again, their answers are often about fear of “getting into trouble” and how they have to “do as they’re told.” Essentially, they want to be “good.” So what’s going on here, and how did we learn to be people pleasers?