I will recommend this book to someone who just went through a breakup, has a hard time being single, has an unsatisfying relationship, or, wants to find purpose in life while being single. This was a good book that taught me that sometimes what we think is love can be just be familiarity. Lastly, the most important relationship in your life is yourself and when you have a good relationship with yourself everything else will fall into place. Read more If you’re single and you want to make it about you again. Or maybe for the first time. The time is now.

Whether you've embraced the advice in Single on Purpose or are just discovering Kim's ideas, 31 Days of Single on Purpose can help you transform being single into a joyous, exciting period of personal growth filled with memories, deep work, play, forgiveness, and freedom. Was leaning toward a 5 but a personal pet peeve, I am not looking for music recommendations from a book. There is an entire chapter with an annotated playlist and then he said Broken Social Science instead of Scene and I was even more annoyed. To be fair I’m having a bad day. Lindsay interviews Paul Chamberlain, a certified crisis advocate and coach, husband and father, and the creator and host of the podcast Smart Funny Tortured. After suffering from over a decade of undiagnosed chronic illnesses and an inauthentic self he found himself struggling with profound depression and at times suicidal that led to separation from his family and near bankruptcy. Today, thanks to an abundance of love and grit, as well as a blend of traditional therapy, coaching, integrative medicine, and holistic lifestyle changes; he now lives a happy balanced life with his wife/business partner, their two kids and the beloved chaos bundle of pets. He now helps others shift their relationship with shame, find their true essence, and get cozy with the better parts of their Darker Angels. Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways: This book gives you the confidence to rediscover your identity and start building a life that is yours. It helps you think about who you were before the pressures of society, your family and your partner came in and told you how to be. It zooms out of the scene that is your current situation and says, remember you have a WHOLE life. Let's fill it with experiences that make you feel alive, that actually count as 'living' and not just existing.Many times we get caught up in our romantic relationships, so much so that we lose ourselves morphing into who we think noir partner wants us to be. But the author makes a good point in the fact that that other person, even at their best, is only 50% of the relationship. Knowing who you are and creating your own unique and beautiful life before merging with another is essential to a successful relationship so that you both can show up fully and authentically. After a painful divorce, "The Angry Therapist" John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled. Establish non-negotiables / affirmations for what you want out of a partner and boundaries to stand by ahead of you delving into another relationship or jumping from lily pad to another. Examples of this: Our safe tree also includes our tribe. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert, the people you engage with will encourage you and sharpen you. Or bring you down and stunt your growth. It makes all the difference. I’ve tried life alone. I’ve surrounded myself with people who were negative and draining. It doesn’t work. And if one of those people is the person you’re sharing a bed with, there needs to be a real honest conversation. Or many. And if nothing changes, you need to be with someone else. Your potential and everything you can offer the world isn’t even about you.

Journal questions that don't feel like "journaling, " focusing on brief, direct, and honest answers to help you know yourself The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope. Healthy used to mean going to the gym for a couple hours and lifting weights. Today, healthy means so much more to me. Healthy means a good balanced diet. But being okay with a donut once in a while. Healthy means therapy to process shit. Healthy means quality time with friends. Healthy means cheat days. Healthy means cutting negative people out of my life. Surrounding myself with people who accept me and champion my story. Healthy means connecting, accepting, and loving my body. But to also practice discipline and push my body further than I think I can. Healthy means to sweat daily. Healthy means great sex that makes my blood flow and my heart race. Healthy means to stretch. Health means to distance myself from the thoughts that drain me and throw me into yesterday. Healthy means to stop future trippin’. Healthy means giving myself what I need. Allowing myself to feel. Healthy means being kind to myself. Healthy means drawing boundaries. Healthy means feeding my brain. Constantly. Healthy means practicing kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude. Healthy means meditation. Healthy means to get outside and feel the sun on my face. Sand on my toes. Healthy means a gas tank in between my legs. Healthy means naps. Healthy means self-care. Healthy is a lifestyle. I think there are nuggets in here like don't tie your self worth to being in a relationship. But pretty much after that it reads like fix these things to be in a relationship albeit more healthy relationship. Having sex, go explore every crayon What. A book that doesn't focus on friendships, building community, or concrete ways to be comfortably being single seems like a missed opportunity. Essentially section 2-4 was all about f**king. I get it, I think sex is super important but this book was nothing more than a very weird reflection of bad relationships, bad sex, toxicity, do drugs, and exercise. I wonder if I'm the wrong demographic bc cross fit was lost on me and brought up a lot. With that being said words like grieving, trauma, and self worth were used but I would not recommend most of the advice. This book is not about being single. This book is about what to do while you're single to get in a relationship. It's not the same. Singlesness is a valuable time period and relationships can be healthy but not a priority. Also can we talk about how asexuality completely missed. I hate it. For John, it took donuts, barbells, and a motorcycle. For the thousands of clients he’s helped as the Angry Therapist, it was yoga, or salsa dancing, or finally speaking their truth. In Single. On Purpose., John takes his signature “self-help in a shot glass” approach and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.Lindsay interviews Candace St. John, an epidemiologist and public health specialist with additional training in pediatric sleep and lactation support, who helps parents cut through the noise and use science in combination with their own intuition to inform their parenting decisions. In this episode we discuss a lot of the myths and truths around infant development and needs, including hot topics like sleep training, breastfeeding, responsive parenting, post-partum, early attachment, screen time, pregnancy and birth, trauma in early childhood and more! First, we must get rid of one of the greatest misconceptions about life, the idea that you can’t be happy unless you are with someone. I’ve coached thousands of singles over the years, and every single one of them believed when they came to me that they couldn’t be happy unless they found a partner. Unless they were married. Unless they had someone to come home to. Their singlehood meant they were incomplete or defective. Less than. They believed there was something wrong with them. Plot Summary - No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled.

I firmly believe in the power of single-hood, and John Kim further validated my feelings with this read. He is not telling readers to avoid relationships. Instead, he is begging them to nurture the one relationship they cannot ever escape—the one with themselves. I was in a nine-year relationship with someone verbally abusive. Then another one that was a nightmare, well, not in the beginning, but you know...

Lindsay interviews Dalila Jusic-LaBerge, LMFT and founder of Be Here and Now Relationship Academy and Secure Love Creator Framework, who provides relationship coaching for high achieving women and overfunctioning love seekers who struggle because they often wind up in situationships with partners that want to “see where it’s going” instead of working towards committed relationships. Dalila shares some of her top advice for helping women embody the identity of a secure love creator, someone who embraces personal power in relationships, knowing that love is in them and that they can create healthy relationships as they choose. PDF / EPUB File Name: Single_On_Purpose_Redefine_Everything_Find_Yourself_First_-_John_Kim.pdf, Single_On_Purpose_Redefine_Everything_Find_Yourself_First_-_John_Kim.epub

Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS "self-help in a shot glass" approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. Single on Purpose is for people who have never been involved, people who have jumped from partner to partner, and those who have lost themselves in their current relationship—anyone who needs to learn that there’s more to life than who we choose to love. I love the way the story starts in the introduction. This book hooked me up, and I never knew there was a book like this. It is a highly recommended book for all, not just single people like me but everyone who wants to find themselves. Read more Deep inside, I knew I needed to be single. On purpose. I’ve been in relationships constantly since I was twenty-two, and I knew I needed to build a better one with myself before I could build anything healthy and meaningful with anyone else. I knew I needed to process my own shit. Break patterns. Find a sense of self. Not be codependent. And work on areas of my life other than love. Because there’s more to life than who we choose to love. It may not feel like that right now. But trust me, there is.I’ve had hundreds of sessions just like this. Different stories, but all the same. It’s why I wrote this book. We don’t know how to be single. It’s a journey most do not embark on. So your current relationship is over. It was healthy, but you were not sexually attracted to him. And the person you are sexually attracted to is toxic and bad for you. And you know this. What I like most about Kim's message in this book is to change what we control in the face of singlehood (or relationships) and that is ourselves. We need to stop hoping for these past traumas, voids and holes in our selves to be filled or patched up by the company of others and find ways to fill them by ourself for ourself.