For some women, the realization that they participated in behavior or relationships that could be categorized as lesbian caused them to deny or conceal it, such as professor Jeannette Augustus Marks at Mount Holyoke College, who lived with the college president, Mary Woolley, for 36 years. Marks discouraged young women from "abnormal" friendships and insisted happiness could only be attained with a man. [26] [g] Other women embraced the distinction and used their uniqueness to set themselves apart from heterosexual women and gay men. [90] Bullough, Vern; Bullough, Bonnie (July 1977). "Lesbianism in the 1920s and 1930s: A Newfound Study". Signs. 2 (4): 895–904. doi: 10.1086/493419. PMID 21213641. S2CID 145652567. Near the Congo River, a female who participates in strong emotional or sexual relationships with another female among the Nkundo people is known as yaikya bonsángo (a woman who presses against another woman). Lesbian relationships are also known in matrilineal societies in Ghana among the Akan people. In Lesotho, females engage in what is commonly considered sexual behavior to the Western world: they kiss, sleep together, rub genitals, participate in cunnilingus, and maintain their relationships with other females vigilantly. Since the people of Lesotho believe sex requires a penis, they do not consider their behavior sexual, nor label themselves lesbians. [170]

While some women say they knew they were lesbian from a very early age, or at least that they were different, some women do not come out lesbian until their forties, fifties, or even later - even if they have spent time in a heterosexual marriage. Regardless of the circumstances, what is important is taking the time to get to know who you are.

The varied meanings of lesbian since the early 20th century have prompted some historians to revisit historic relationships between women before the wide usage of the word was defined by erotic proclivities. Discussion from historians caused further questioning of what qualifies as a lesbian relationship. As lesbian-feminists asserted, a sexual component was unnecessary in declaring oneself a lesbian if the primary and closest relationships were with women. When considering past relationships within appropriate historic context, there were times when love and sex were separate and unrelated notions. [40] In 1989, an academic cohort named the Lesbian History Group wrote: Individuals identifying with or otherwise engaging in lesbian practices in the region can face family violence and societal persecution, including what are commonly referred to as " honor killings." The justifications provided by murderers relate to a person's perceived sexual immorality, loss of virginity (outside of acceptable frames of marriage), and target female victims primarily. [155] Americas a b c Farr, Rachel H.; Diamond, Lisa M.; Boker, Steven M. (2014). "Female Same-Sex Sexuality from a Dynamical Systems Perspective: Sexual Desire, Motivation, and Behavior". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 43 (8): 1477–1490. doi: 10.1007/s10508-014-0378-z. ISSN 0004-0002. PMC 4199863. PMID 25193132. Anne has a crush on popular girl named Sasha. Thinking she can confide in her guy friend, Clifton, Anne shares her romantic feelings for Sasha. What Anne doesn't know is that Clifton secretly likes her, and he tries to get in the way of any kind of relationship brewing between Anne and Sasha.

Swinburne, Algernon Charles (10 August 2021). "Sapphics". Poetry Foundation. Archived from the original on Oct 25, 2022.During the 17th through 19th centuries, a woman expressing passionate love for another woman was fashionable, accepted, and encouraged. [68] These relationships were termed romantic friendships, Boston marriages, or "sentimental friends", and were common in the U.S., Europe, and especially in England. Documentation of these relationships is possible by a large volume of letters written between women. Whether the relationship included any genital component was not a matter for public discourse, but women could form strong and exclusive bonds with each other and still be considered virtuous, innocent, and chaste; a similar relationship with a man would have destroyed a woman's reputation. In fact, these relationships were promoted as alternatives to and practice for a woman's marriage to a man. [72] [d] Women in ancient Greece were sequestered with one another, and men were segregated likewise. In this homosocial environment, erotic and sexual relationships between males were common and recorded in literature, art, and philosophy. Very little was recorded about homosexual activity between Greek women. There is some speculation that similar relationships existed between women and girls — the poet Alcman used the term aitis, as the feminine form of aites — which was the official term for the younger participant in a pederastic relationship. [44] Aristophanes, in Plato's Symposium, mentions women who are romantically attracted to other women, but uses the term trepesthai (to be focused on) instead of eros, which was applied to other erotic relationships between men, and between men and women. [45] who moved in known lesbian or mixed gay circles, may well have been a lesbian. ... But this sort of evidence is not 'proof'. What our critics want is incontrovertible evidence of sexual activity between women. This is almost impossible to find. [41] One such relationship was between Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, who wrote to Anne Wortley in 1709: "Nobody was so entirely, so faithfully yours ... I put in your lovers, for I don't allow it possible for a man to be so sincere as I am." [74] Similarly, English poet Anna Seward had a devoted friendship to Honora Sneyd, who was the subject of many of Seward's sonnets and poems. When Sneyd married despite Seward's protest, Seward's poems became angry. Seward continued to write about Sneyd long after her death, extolling Sneyd's beauty and their affection and friendship. [75] As a young woman, writer and philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft was attached to a woman named Fanny Blood. Writing to another woman by whom she had recently felt betrayed, Wollstonecraft declared, "The roses will bloom when there's peace in the breast, and the prospect of living with my Fanny gladdens my heart:—You know not how I love her." [76] [e] The Ladies of Llangollen, Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby.

Newspaper stories frankly divulged that the book's content includes "sexual relations between Lesbian women", and photographs of Hall often accompanied details about lesbians in most major print outlets within a span of six months. [98] Hall reflected the appearance of a "mannish" woman in the 1920s: short cropped hair, tailored suits (often with pants), and monocle that became widely recognized as a "uniform". When British women supported the war effort during the First World War, they became familiar with masculine clothing, and were considered patriotic for wearing uniforms and pants. Postwar masculinization of women's clothing became associated primarily with lesbianism. [99] Harlem resident Gladys Bentley was renowned for her blues songs about her affairs with women. The movie features a queer romance between a lesbian couple that is super heartwarming. This particular storyline wasn't part of the original novel, according to BuzzFeed, and co-author Lauren Myracle told the outlet, "Having a heteronormative story all around would be abnormal. It would be weird," adding, "the version in the movie is much more satisfying."

Lesbian visibility has improved since the early 1980s. This is in part due to public figures who have drawn speculation from the public and comment in the press about their sexuality and lesbianism in general. The primary figure earning this attention was Martina Navratilova, who served as tabloid fodder for years as she denied being lesbian, admitted to being bisexual, had very public relationships with Rita Mae Brown and Judy Nelson, and acquired as much press about her sexuality as she did her athletic achievements. Navratilova spurred what scholar Diane Hamer termed "constant preoccupation" in the press with determining the root of same-sex desire. [301] After a snowstorm forces a group of friends to shelter together on Christmas Eve, drama start heating up and nothing will be the same as their lives intertwine. This Netflix movie is based on the YA novel Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances by John Green, Lauren Myracle, Maureen Johnson. Murphy-Kasp, Paul (6 July 2019). "Pride in London: What do all the flags mean?". BBC News . Retrieved 11 July 2019.

More discussion on gender and sexual orientation identity has affected how many women label or view themselves. Most people in western culture are taught that heterosexuality is an innate quality in all people. When a woman realizes her romantic and sexual attraction to another woman, it may cause an "existential crisis"; many who go through this adopt the identity of a lesbian, challenging what society has offered in stereotypes about homosexuals, to learn how to function within a homosexual subculture. [36] Lesbians in western cultures generally share an identity that parallels those built on ethnicity; they have a shared history and subculture, and similar experiences with discrimination which has caused many lesbians to reject heterosexual principles. This identity is unique from gay men and heterosexual women, and often creates tension with bisexual women. [25] One point of contention are lesbians who have had sex with men, while lesbians who have never had sex with men may be referred to as " gold star lesbians". Those who have had sex with men may face ridicule from other lesbians or identity challenges with regard to defining what it means to be a lesbian. [37] Zimmerman, Bonnie, ed. (2000). "Symbols (by Christy Stevens)". Lesbian Histories and Cultures: An Encyclopedia. Vol.1 (Encyclopedia of Lesbian and Gay Histories and Cultures) (1sted.). Garland Publishing. p. 748. ISBN 0-8153-1920-7. The primary component necessary to encourage lesbians to be public and seek other women was economic independence, which virtually disappeared in the 1930s with the Great Depression. Most women in the U.S. found it necessary to marry, to a " front" such as a gay man where both could pursue homosexual relationships with public discretion, or to a man who expected a traditional wife. Independent women in the 1930s were generally seen as holding jobs that men should have. [109]

Chic and popular culture The August 1993 cover of Vanity Fair that marked the arrival of lesbian chic as a social phenomenon in the 1990s. Narrowing down the best movies in any genre is tough, but for lesbian films you have to begin with a reductive question: What isa lesbian film? What, in fact, is a lesbian? (OK, that’s a different piece). Brendan (January 10, 2012). "Berlin's Lesbische Frauen". Cabaret Berlin. Archived from the original on 28 May 2020 . Retrieved 13 June 2020. (originally published by Slow Travel Berlin)