Call NASA immediately if you should catch me smiling on a Monday. An alien has killed me and is wearing my skin as a disguise. September was the first calendar month no nfl players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month. Tim, an 18-year-old was munching down on chocolate from his advent calendar, having forgotten to eat a previous couple of days’ pieces. Just received word that two men had been found guilty of stealing a calendar. Both were given six months. What do you call a calendar with a gambling addiction? A high-stakes day planner! Time Flies When You’re Having Puns (Double Entendre Puns)

I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off. You might also be interested in some of our other Advent calendar activities. We have similar PowerPoints to introduce mindfulness techniquesand acts of kindness, helping you create a positive classroom environment. More like this Christmas Jokes Advent Calendar PowerPoint: If you liked that Christmas joke, there's lots more where that came from in our hilarious Christmas joke advent calendar. Perfect for adding a dash of fun to the beginning of school days, this joke advent calendar is a great way to keep children motivated and brighten up their day during the last few weeks of term before the Christmas break. Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he’s tired of being in the single market!

More like this Christmas Jokes Advent Calendar PowerPoint:

If you can explain to me the significance of Easter, the holiest day in the Christian calendar, you can enter heaven, St. Peter says as he turns to face the first man.

All the dates on my calendar have worn off. Now, my roommate believes I’m playing tic-tac-toe with him everytime I cross one of the boxes. I was starving and in need. My clothing was in shambles. I was by myself. I could see the palace from a distance, so I sneaked inside while the guards weren’t looking. Food was in the air. I went in that direction. I observed the Queen and a dozen court ladies enjoying a lavish banquet there. When they all noticed me, they all became silent. I mustered up the confidence to ask, “Please, your majesty, can you spare me a morsel? I am famished. ”Outraged, the queen requested the guards. A pair of enormous, powerful soldiers entered. Take this conceited wretch out and lash him, the queen yelled, pointing at me. “Stop! ” With this resource, your students will look forward to coming to school and being able to learn a new joke to tell to their friends and family. If your students have enjoyed hearing the Christmas jokes in this joke advent calendar, you could get them to tell the jokes in a Christmas assembly - a great way to entertain the whole school! What did the calendar say to its schedule? “I’m really feeling a connection, we’re always in sync!” I asked my calendar if it wanted to join a marathon, but it said it just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment to dates.The calendar model wanted to change careers and become a weather girl because she loved being in different “climates.” What makes a joke a dad joke? Well, when a dad becomes a dad, his sense of humor becomes ap parent too. Before he knows it, he’s dropping pun-laden one-liners left and right just like his dad did, and his dad’s dad did, and he may even inherit some mom jokes too. (Is your grandmother funny? That’s usually the biggest tell.)

I dated a girl working at a calendar factory, but it just didn’t work out – she had too many dates! There's no better way to start your day than with a good laugh. Here's why you might consider getting a Funny Calendar:This week’s puns and one liners take the form of Calendar Jokes. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

Did you hear about the calendar’s career as a hairdresser? It gives really great trims throughout the months!What is large on Sunday and Saturday, small on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and disappears on Monday? Here is a list of funny calendar up jokes and even better calendar up puns that will make you laugh with friends. The calendar tried to make an appointment with the doctor, but it was a waste of time, they gave him the runaround.