Another added bonus is the aromatherapeutic benefits," she says. "Essential oils like clary sage, lavender, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, rose, bergamot and ginseng have aphrodisiac properties that will help get anyone in the mood before or during sex." Karsh notes that some areas of the body are more sensitive (such as breasts and genitalia), which means close wax drippings there would be more painful. It’s important to work out on your own whether wax play in those areas are right for you. Wax Play". SexTalkAbout – Sexual Wellness Experts. Archived from the original on 2015-11-25 . Retrieved 2015-11-24. For example, try asking your partner, "Hey, have you had many sexual fantasies?" or "Is there anything you’ve really wanted to try out in the bedroom?" That way, your partner can also bring up sexual ideas they’ve had on their mind, making for a more balanced (and sexy) discussion.

Once your wax is hot and melty and the temperature feels good, it's time for the main event! There are tons of ways to use wax during sex, including:

So, what is wax play?

The Effects of Temperature and Time on Beeswax and Honey". Archived from the original on 2018-05-06 . Retrieved 2018-05-05. Some people like a bit of pain with their sex, though, and for those interested in wax that burns a bit hotter and stings, Karsh recommends paraffin candles. "Paraffin has a slightly higher burning temperature than soy,” she says. Before you get started, light your candle and leave it in a safe place while the wax melts. "Ideally, you want to get an even melt across the candle and avoid tunneling, much like when you burn a regular candle," Uren says. Let’s face it, wax is messy—and if you don’t properly prepare for playing with it, hot wax can even be legit painful (not the hurts-so-good kind).

If that sounds like too much, you could also try alternating between hot and cold, by bringing ice into the mix and running it over the skin after or during wax play. There are no wrong answers here. Ooh, interesting. So how do I prepare for wax play?One of the best ways to avoid this is by using kink specific candles that have a lower burning temperature, like this one from Maude or this one from Knude Society. "A large safety consideration is to not drip wax on the face, in the ears, in open cuts, anywhere inside the body, or in hair, as wax removal in hair can be difficult and sometimes painful." Starting an honest conversation if you want to try wax play: "Like when talking about any BDSM, when speaking about wax play you could simply start by saying you want to explore temperature play, and both discuss options on how to explore it on a level they’re both comfortable with," explains Ness." Emerson Karsh, who has a degree in human sexuality and is known professionally as the Kink Educator, says the best way to talk to a partner about a kink you’re interested in is by doing it away from the bedroom, a sexual setting, or anywhere where the kink activity might eventually happen. "This alleviates any pressure off the other partner,” she explains. “Other ways to bring up this conversation are by creating a more generalised, open dialogue to discuss interests and fantasies where you both can equally share." Allow yourself to feel what that sensation feels like; if it’s not comfortable, keep raising your arm [holding the candle] up higher until it feels comfortable for you,” Howard says. The greater the distance between the candle and your body, the less of an intense sensation; the wax won't be as hot by the time it reaches your skin. The less distance, the more intense the sensation. Avoid dripping the wax on sensitive areas. And finally, if you've already tried wax play out a few times but want to take it to the next level, here's what you need to try out according to sexpert Ness...