Want to be Spanked?

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Even though I just connected spanking to BDSM, I want to stress that you are under no obligation to think of it that way. So, how can you know which sources to trust? The best approach is to use the guidelines in the article below about finding safe, sound sex education to help you figure out who actually knows what they're talking about. That way, any remaining nerves you may have won't be made worse by the worry that you might get hurt in an unintentional and unfun way. My three-in-one day of punishment started with a caning in the morning followed by two minutes of corner time so that I could think about my behaviour. This was followed by a taste of the tawse a few hours later and then, just before bedtime the paddle was used to end the day. There are many factors (including those societal expectations I mentioned earlier) that make communicating about sex a daunting thing to learn. But believe me when I say that future-you is going to be very glad they started that process sooner rather than later. Being able to talk openly about what you want and negotiate boundaries with a partner is an important component of having a healthy sexual relationship -- not to mention a satisfying sex life! -- so the sooner you start practicing, the better. I’m still coming to terms with my feminist beliefs, and how they interact with my desire for submissive sex, especially my spanking fetish. At this point in my life, at 25, I finally feel comfortable choosing to be submissive in a relationship with a man in the bedroom, as long as he is choosing to behave in a dominant way and he respects me outside of the bedroom. My love of a good spanking is not a conflict for me anymore. In fact, I respect myself more than I ever did for knowing exactly what pleases me and not being afraid to ask for it.

Answer: Never. Firstly, I know I can be a handful. I also know I have aggressive personality traits. So when she has deemed it necessary to give me a spanking, I know that I’ve earned it, deserve it, and quite honestly need it.In position, his questions force obedient answers from you. Punctuated by hard spanks, your admissions are deeply cathartic and hurt as much as his spanks.

Yes, she understands that this sounds strange to you. No, she does not understand why she is this way. Please stop trying to figure out why and just DO IT! If you do I can almost promise you that your sex life will reach heights that you never imagined. Ours did. I went from being fairly cold toward sex to someone will to try anything my husband or I can dream up. Stress release: Individuals may find similar benefits from spanking therapy as those from mindful activities, such as meditation.Reclaiming or relinquishing power through the act of spanking may help some people regain psychological control over past traumatic events. If you find that spanking is something you are both willing to try (or if you discover that there is another activity that you'd like to explore) the next step is to find reliable sources about how to do that activity safely. You are my wife. I love you, I love you way too much to allow you to disregard our agreement on the best way for you to improve your health and put yourself in jeopardy. I care enough about you to put some boundaries and guidelines around you to keep you safe. And yes I will wear you out if necessary to show you just how serious I am about my love for you.” Let's pause here to discuss the possibility that he may feel uncomfortable just talking about spanking. Not the most comforting thought, but you can still prepare for that outcome.

Three-quarters (78%) said they were born submissive. “I don’t know why. I was born that way.” “I was like 5 when I started having BDSM fantasies.” “At a young age, long before I felt any interest in sex, I daydreamed being blindfolded, tied up, and whipped.”Jennifer caught me, of course. I'd driven 300 miles to go to a small spanking party in Washington, DC. It was at someone's house, and it was two days of awesome. At one point, I was in a hot tub with a woman who acted in spanking films and the female host, a retired police lieutenant. But as exciting as that was, I wanted to experience spanking with someone I loved. I didn't want to have spanking on the side; I wanted it front and center. That diversity of sexual experience I mentioned also applies to how we categorize and describe our behaviors. Something that one person defines as super-taboo is totally unremarkable to someone else. You may find that spanking falls solidly within your definition of kinky (if that's even a word or frame you use), but that that you're not comfortable calling what you do BDSM. You may find that you're comfortable with the BDSM label, but that spanking doesn't match your definition of it. You may find that spanking falls into a separate category altogether, or no category at all. All of those outcomes are completely fine. What sensations feel sexual, and how we feel about them, are personal and variable. You get to name your desires in whatever way feels right to you and makes you the most comfortable. Our sexual lives and sexualities are totally DIY in this way. One-quarter (22%) said they became subs as a result of life experiences. Half of that group (11%) said they’d been traumatized and sexualized it. “I was sexually abused as a child. It made me submissive.” “Both of my parents spanked me. I and grew up wanting punishment.” The other half, like Anastasia Steele, were introduced to BDSM as adults by lovers, and enjoyed it. I guess I want to say that there is a choice, at least to some degree, of what you think and feel. Their purpose being to humilliate you and your decision not be humilliated. (you could decide to be angry, for example).

Drinks in hand, Emily and I began meeting people. We didn't talk about spanking, not until much later. But just being around them, being out, was liberating. These were people like me, who in this post-50 Shades era, had nothing in common with the vanilla couples toying with handcuffs and blindfolds, making up safe words and buying heart-shaped paddles. These people were true aficionados, who'd wielded (and felt) those paddles, as well as hairbrushes, floggers and straps, for years. They knew that the technique for caning is different from the one you use to crop. They knew about role play, "domestic discipline" and aftercare. And their spanking implements weren't heart-shaped, because these people weren’t just playing at it, they were hard-wired like me. The authors also note that some scientific theories suggest that SM practices, such as spanking, may help some people heal from trauma. I relate. As a man, though, it's a little different -- we're not supposed to hurt women, we're supposed to protect them. I've never hit a woman in my life, and abhor those who do, including those who emotionally abuse their partners. That's the essence of my shame, deepened by the impossibility of trying to explain it to someone who is not a spanko, someone who isn't wired to understand. As Keenan said: I asked for a beer. In the bottle. "Happy to open it myself," I said. She looked at me as if I were weird. For example, by the time I was a teenager the physical aspect had raised to the point where my butt was bruised and welted with every single spanking...which occurred at least twice a month. I cannot remember much time between ages 8 and 18 where my butt wasn't marked in some way.Before delving into the origins of subs’ pleasure from pain, let’s correct some common misconceptions: If you decide that you do want to try spanking, then it's time for a discussion with your boyfriend. I know you're worried about embarrassing yourself, but if you want to explore your desires, you are going to have to talk to him. If it helps, know that sharing what our sexual desires are with a partner, even if they don't share them or want to try them, is one of the ways we develop and sustain intimacy in sexual relationships.