Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Nice Girls Book)

Product Information

Especially for underrepresented minorities and women, titles give more legitimacy to our career paths that people may skim over due to conscious or unconscious bias if they weren’t there. The fundamental message of moving beyond what young women are taught about being 'a nice girl' is great. There are sprouts of really strong material around improving communication learned in childhood, definitely. But the structure of the book (a giant listicle) doesn't go in depth about any one, and there are better resources for this.

So today’s read is going to be slightly different from the topics I usually cover in this blog, and chances are, also a little bit more controversial.

When will my book be dispatched from your warehouse?

Lastly, separate being liked and getting what you deserve. If you ask for what you deserve in an appropriate way and are suddenly not liked because of it, they might just be hoping you will give in to their expression of displeasure. Don’t 🙂 4. Holding your tongue and softening your message

Couch requests in the form of a statement. Don't ask--TELL. Make it a fait accompli. (Would only work if you make plans: "I've added money to the budget for extra training and staff members" instead of just asking for more money.)

My Book Notes

Stop using touchy-feely language. Be assertive. "I think..." "I believe..." "I intend..." "I would like..." Be strong! Be direct! Language strongly conveys messages about us, so show that you're strong and decisive. This comes up again in "How You Respond." To counter being treated inappropriately, learn to tell people what you really think. "I would appreciate it if you did X."

I just finished reading this book in an effort to teach myself how to stop doing all of those little things that sabotage the advancement of my career. I'm not currently looking for a new job (even though I should be) but I'd still like to work on improving my skills and stop downplaying my abilities. Some of the "mistakes" I will change, because they were never actions I consciously decided to do. They were more instilled messages from society, culture and family, that I carry around with me. Tells them not to dress too feminine. Apparently, if you wear a skirt, people are not going to take you seriously. Um, hon. Misogynists are not going to suddenly take me seriously if I'm wearing pants. They're not going to see me as a faceless humanoid the moment I don jeans and overlook the fact that I am female. They're going to see a woman in pants.

Create a new list

Ask yourself how many of the following behaviours are an obstacle to achieving more balance in your life: With this book as a guide, I hope to learn where to go from here. The title contains a clue that 101 mistakes cannot be fixed within one book so the author wisely points them out and then refers the reader to another more specific book to help with a particular or group of particular mistakes.

All in all, less is more. Get comfortable with the silence after delivering a short, direct and to-the-point message. 5. Being too modest, and apologizing more than you should. She actually tells women it is too feminine to smile a lot. Take it from the other end, where I'm constantly told to smile, which is a microaggression in itself as women are expected to be accommodating, pleasant, peacekeeping. I understand body language being important, but telling people not to smile too much is confusing. What is too much exactly?Try to resist it by replacing the thought of “People won’t like me if…” with “People might not like if X, but at least I will be acting according to my values”. Balance the inclination to serve others’ needs with serving your own, and before agreeing to something you might not want to, ask yourself how much will it matter if the other person is still a little annoyed. Don't sell yourself short. "When offered a position or assignment that's new to you, TAKE IT. If others have enough confidence in you that you can do the job, YOU SHOULD, TOO." I need to remember this. Some women ask for permission more out of habit than actually having to ask for the green light for something. By asking for permission before acting, we are less likely to be accused of making a mistake, but we are also less likely to be perceived as confident risk-takers. I'm so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents. I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout. She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self-promotional and narcissistic branding. Written by top career coach L.P.Frankel, ‘101 mistakes’ aims to guide women away from the ‘act like a girl’ stereotypes taught to them as young ladies, which according to the author they carry onto womanhood.