Sort Your Head Out: Mental health without all the bollocks

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It was during that period, probably when I had my second child, so we had two small children, and I had a lot of other stuff going on. I had a lot of work going on because that’s the other thing driven sort of mad with anxiety and the idea of providing and taking on much more work and stress than was healthy while simultaneously trying to really do the dad thing as best I could. And it all became overwhelming for me. And that was why I turned to drink and drugs to sort of try and self-medicate my way through it because I wasn’t able to share any of those stresses and strains with anyone.” My three previous books were: Get Smashed - The Story Of The Men Who Made The Ads That Changed Our Lives (Sceptre, 2007), Night Of The Living Dad (John Murray, 2009) and Mad Men And Bad Men (Faber, 2015).

We can all make a change by being more open with our mates: honest conversations show us all we are not alone in our feelings, and we don’t need to feel so ashamed. He recently qualified at Level 2 in counselling skills and became an ambassador for the mental health charity, CALM. Sam Delaney is an experienced author, journalist and broadcaster with a special interest in men’s mental health.This book tells it like it is in an honest and down to earth way that men who find it hard to talk about mental health will be able to relate to easily. Sam really knows his stuff on this subject and is very frank about his struggles. A great, motivating book that can really help - every bloke should read it— Shaun Ryder Keeping it all inside was what nearly dragged Sam under. Then he began to open up and share his story with others. Soon his life started to get better and better. Now, he’s written this book to help you do the same. So it was the scandal and the mischievousness that shifted copies. And the celebrities knew that as well as we did. Keeping it all inside was what nearly dragged Sam under. Then he began to open up and share his story with others. Soon his life started to get better and better. Now, he's written this book to help you do the same. Living in insecure housing and ­experiencing money worries puts you into a constant state of fight or flight,” says writer, broadcaster and former government mental health tsar, Natasha Devon MBE.

For many middle-aged blokes like me, masculinity is still all about beer, banter and a stiff upper lip. So next time you’re in the pub, go to the trouble of asking how your mate is actually feeling. Twice.Although Sam did not originally like the idea of getting support and starting therapy, ‘beggars can’t be choosers. Only through desperation did I go and talk to someone’. Its starts, as many of its ilk, with the author hitting the low point. However, being pissed at the darts and holding up a sign that asks his wife to marry him does not particularly sound like a real nadir. It was - like a lot of the book - quite amusing though. We are then introduced to traumas large and small in his life. Its interesting. Raised by a single parent in relative poverty, whilst the other parent swanned around in a Bentley. There's quite a lot of this duality at play in the book. It is possible to be a blokey bloke, but be educated. Rich and down to earth etc. A nationwide network of men’s groups that meet every Monday night at 7pm to chat about how they’re getting on. In the 90s, the lads mag ruled supreme – with Loaded the daddy of them all. They were publications aimed at hedonistic young men. Sam left university and set foot in that world: The core message is accurate and a lot resonates. Some practical advice. A yet another good book to put on the shelf marked "Shirk, Rest and Play".

You didn’t get paid that much, really to be a young journalist on a magazine. But you were able to live a lifestyle that was that of someone who earned 20 times your yearly salary because every door was opened, and everything came free. Every weekend you had a different car that you’d been lent to drive around in or a hotel that you could go and stay in to review. I have had to train myself not to fear idleness but to embrace it. I have had to discover beauty and fun in the day-to-day. It is all there in front of us. Nora Ephron, the famous Hollywood screenwriter, once said: “Interesting stories happen to people who know how to tell them.” Nowadays, I spend most of my time telling people stories. Sometimes they ask me how come so many interesting things happen to me. They don’t. The same amount of remarkable, funny or stimulating things happen to me as to the next person. It’s just that, these days, I am clear-eyed enough to see them.They’re community spaces for men to connect, converse and create. The activities are often similar to those of garden sheds, but for groups of men to enjoy together. They help reduce loneliness and isolation, but most importantly, they’re fun. And so I got involved in magazines towards the end of the 90s, but it was still absolutely booming, and magazine publishing in this country was huge. I was almost competitive when I was, like, a young dad. I was like, I wanted to be perceived as, like, this sort of expert dad. I really wanted to go, ‘I’ve already been to the safari park this morning, and ballet classes, and done their French homework with them. Like, being a dad was like a new sport, and that really took its toll.” Because if it looked like if it looked contrived, like an interview of a celebrity, with a nice photo shoot on the cover where she’s been shot in a studio and it’s obviously all endorsed, it sold a lot less.